We are now in a time when even a grown-up after a hard loss in a video game can feel real stress. And ask himself what to do with this heavy feeling. Let's see what exactly stress is and how we can deal with it.

Stress is not normal

We are used to treating stress as something inevitable and even necessary. It seems: it keeps us in good shape and moves us forward. And is helping us to win. But the constantly activated mechanism of stress is an imbalance in the body. Research unequivocally shows that chronic stress impairs health and prevents successful performance in any area.

Stress is caused by circumstances that are beyond our control. We are afraid of not living up to someone's expectations and we are exhausted. But it is important to understand that stress is only a kind of signaling system that has existed in a person since ancient times, and stress can be useful. It makes us gather at the right moment and mobilize all our forces in order to solve an urgent problem.

The main thing is not to forget to rest after such jerks and remember that most things should not excite us so much that stress harms us. You need to learn to look at the situation from the side and find funny or joyful moments in any of the most terrible games, and we will try to tell you how to do it.

Changing attitude

To get rid of the stress response, try one of Timothy Galwey's exercises.

1. Choose a circumstance that causes you a lot of stress. Let's take losing in the game.

2. Consider your current attitude towards the situation. You may have to dig deep into yourself to do this, but once you determine the right worldview, you will immediately recognize it. It will be like a click.

3. Now think of another way to relate to the situation. Take a moment out of your usual thoughts and try on a different attitude. Maybe this is an opportunity to find a new game or try another occupation because you were playing too much. Or a way to go beyond the boundaries that limit you? Or maybe this is an impetus to turn to your creative abilities or ask for support from loved ones?

4. Try on different attitudes until you find one that you feel comfortable in, and that "sits" well on you. Remember feelings like fear, disappointment, and pain cause stress, but if you "wear" an attitude that makes you feel comfortable and happy, it will protect you from negative reactions.

How to deal with emotions

Emotions permeate all spheres of human life. Every day we experience many different situations: we rejoice together with loved ones; we feel fear on the street when meeting unpleasant people; enjoy delicious food. Our psyche undergoes different processes depending on the circumstances in which we find ourselves. There are sensations that you want to experience again and again: they cause positive emotions. And there are situations, which repetitions we will try to avoid because in connection with them we experienced unpleasant moments or even stress. Our body in such cases may turn on a special mode- affect, when all other mental processes are inhibited. Emotions can control us if we have not learned to control them.

To preserve the beneficial effects of good emotions and reduce the harmful effects of bad ones, it is worth learning to coexist with them. And we will tell you about one of the techniques.

What can I control?

We often feel stuck in games, relationships, commitments, and bad luck. It seems to us that the situation is out of control, and we cannot change it. This feeling causes a lot of stress. A simple tool will allow you to get rid of it, the essence of which is to ask yourself three questions in strict sequence:

1. What I can't control here?
2. What am I trying to control now?
3. What is something that I did not yet control that I could control?

You will usually find that the things that you cannot control are outside and that what you have not yet controlled, although you could, is within yourself. Focus on the latter and do not try to influence what is beyond your control. When you enter a stressful situation on your own terms, the outcome is always better.

According to psychologists, there is a direct link between stress and how the body feels. If there is no discharge, then stress gradually kills the body. We are stuck in its cycle, but simple actions will help to get out of it. For example, physical activity. This is a signal to the body that you have successfully survived the threat and it is safe to be in your body again. Physical activity is the most powerful way to end the stress response cycle.

Some small tips that might help you with stress relief.

Physical exercise is very helpful. Go to the gym, ride a bike, go for an evening jog, and play sports. In the end, you can just take a walk in the park and get some fresh air.
Conscious breathing (meditation), warm communication, laughter, and love will also help you. With these simple actions, you let the body know that the stressful situation has passed, and you are safe.
Try to relax. Water procedures can help you with this: water has a very beneficial effect on our bodies. Take relaxing baths with aromatic oils more often; you can go to the pool, bath, or sauna.

Go to the cinema and the theater. Comedies - movies or theatrical performances - are an invaluable source of positive emotions. Even if you go there alone, the general mood of the hall will charge you with fun, and a bad mood will remain in the past.
Eat dessert. Sweet (especially dark chocolate and bananas) activates the production of hormones of happiness and pleasure and also suppresses stress. The body itself will remove at least 50% of the problem. And with the remaining half, it will be easier to deal with.
Pets are the best helpers with positive emotions. Walking and playing with your dog or stroking your cat will produce the right hormones that will help you to feel easier. There are even cat breeds that can make it better than others, if you want to know more about your cat you can make a cat DNA test.

One of the reasons that stress drags us deeper and deeper is the inability to listen to our emotions in time. We must learn to catch tension, anxiety, and fatigue before they harm us, find the causes of these feelings and deal with them before the crisis breaks out.